


Human Bullshit and the Lack Thereof

by queerlyobscure (softestpunk)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Demon Dean Winchester, M/M, Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-22
Updated: 2014-05-22
Packaged: 2018-01-26 03:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1672409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softestpunk/pseuds/queerlyobscure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas has always had a thing for demons. Dean's isn't stupid.</p>
<p>This ended up way less porny and way more moody than originally intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Human Bullshit and the Lack Thereof

There's a horrible moment when Cas sees Dean again, definitely not dead but also definitely not the same, where he fully and completely understands the concept of guilt and the sinking, horrible feeling it leaves you with. He swallows thickly and manages to choke out a _hello, Dean_  in what he hopes is a normal tone.

The creeping humanity doesn't help his perception of emotion or tone, but he'd trade every last scrap of grace he has left not to be so very, very attracted to Dean right now. Especially as Dean's already shying away, hiding his face as much as he can without actually shielding it.

Cas _cannot_ tell him that he's never been more beautiful to him, because Dean is so clearly ashamed. So sure Cas won't be able to bear looking at him like this.

"Hey," Dean murmurs, keeping his head down and to the side. "You found me."

Cas swallows again. "Yes."

"Are you gonna..." Dean waves his hand.

"I'm not going to hurt you." He wets his lips. "Look at me, Dean."

Dean doesn't look at him. Cas takes a step forward, but it only makes Dean turn his face further away. "I know you can see, okay? You don't need to pretend to me that it doesn't bother you."

It does bother Cas, but not for any of the reasons Dean's thought of. "And I know you can see that I'm not all angel any more. Does that bother you?"

Dean finally looks at him, expression hurt. Demons wear their feelings so obviously on their faces that Cas doesn't need angelic senses to tell how Dean feels any more. It's nice. When they inevitably cure him, he's going to miss it.

There's that guilt again. Cas isn't accustomed to selfishness. He doesn't know how to feel want without hating himself for it.

"I don't care whether or not you're an angel!" Dean's so angry, angry at everything, but mostly himself. Not Cas, though. There's no anger directed at him at all.

Cas reaches out, caution in every millimeter of movement, and touches Dean's brow bone. He traces one eye socket, and then the other, as gently as he can. Even on the verge of having no grace left at all, there's a tingling wrongness between them where Cas makes contact. Dean must be able to feel it as well, but he doesn't react. Just holds still for Cas to touch him.

"I did all of this for you," Cas confesses softly. "Did you really think I'd care if you were a demon?"

He realises he's made a mistake seconds later when he can pinpoint, down to the half-second, the point where Dean figures it out. He smiles in a way that's all Dean, but as predatory as any monster ever.

"I bet you thought I'd forgotten all about your hard-on for demons, huh?" Dean steps toward him, backing him up steadily until Cas hits the wall behind him. "You know what's really great about being a demon, Cas?"

Cas shakes his head. He suspects he's about to find out in vivid detail.

Dean smiles slowly. "You don't have to deal with any of your own human bullshit." He waves his hand again, a different but no less powerful gesture this time. "You get to be selfish and greedy and not give a crap about it."

He falls to his knees gracefully, looking up at Cas with warm, black eyes. Cas has always imagined the reverse of this, himself on his knees before Dean, promising him everything one angel can offer someone as incredible as Dean Winchester and begging him to accept it.

That said, this works for him in an entirely different way. He's not sure it's fair to say he _understands_  lust, but he can identify it when he feels it. Dean shuffles forward and nuzzles his belly through his shirt, breathing his scent in indulgent gulps, all hints of self-consciousness absent.

"Dean," Cas breathes. Dean shushes him, cooing softly as he tugs Cas' shirt out of his pants. Calloused fingers skim over the sensitive skin of Cas' stomach and he draws breath sharply.

"We're gonna have to have a talk about easy-access clothing," Dean rumbles as he unbuttons the bottom of Cas' shirt and then leans in, mouth hot on Cas' skin as he presses a kiss below his belly button then sucks a bruise there. Cas is far enough gone that he doesn't heal instantly. A low groan builds in his throat when Dean presses his thumb into the purpling flesh and Cas lets himself fall back against the wall.

"We can't do this," Cas objects, but makes no move to stop Dean. He could, if he had to. Besides which, Dean would never hurt him. Even in his altered state, he'd stop at that. All the same, the image of holding Dean's empty body while he waited for him to get back to it after he was exorcised hits Cas hard enough to make his knees buckle.

Dean catches him effortlessly. They're finally evenly matched, Dean a new demon and Cas an old angel. "You're so pretty," Dean sing-songs.

"So are you." Cas sighs. He reaches out again to touch Dean's face. His siblings would tear him apart if they knew how attractive he found Dean now. He'd loved him for a long time, and they'd been upset enough about that. Lusting after a demon would have turned them all away forever.

He surges forward to kiss Dean, clumsy but eager. Dean falls back under him, lies down on the floor and lets Cas hold him down. He grins up at him. Something like a purr vibrates in Dean's chest.

"Come _home_ ," Cas pleads with him. He's so obviously still himself, he could come home right now and Sam would hug him and Cas would pull him down to the bedroom neither of them need for sleep.

"Can't," Dean smiles again, but it begins to fade too quickly to be real. "Can't leave Crowley unsupervised, can I?"

"How long?" Cas hears his voice catch and doesn't like it. He doesn't want to feel this abandoned, this lost without Dean. But he does, and it hurts.

"Listen, you can't exactly pray to a demon, but I've got a cell phone. You can see me any time you want. Okay? You just call."

"And if I just go find a motel and call you?"

Dean grins at him again. "Then I'll come. So will you. Promise."

Cas rolls his eyes. "I see none of this has affected your sense of humour."

Dean wriggles out from under him and stands, offering a hand to help Cas up. Cas lets him, if only to touch Dean again, and dusts himself off.

"I'll expect that call." Dean winks, and then vanishes.


End file.
